Family Ties

The following Post is a reprint of a post that I placed on the Blog that I established for My Pat.  http://mybabygirlpat.blogspot.com

I have over the years, maintained close ties with members of My Pat's family.  Primarily that was because of Pat.  Her brothers and sisters were her closest friends.   During that same time period I did a terrible job of keeping touch with my family.  Always too busy or had this excuse or that for not maintaining contact.  The last few years I locked myself into a shell and worked at not maintaining contacts of any kind.  But the fact is, it started for me a long time ago when I was working hard to get ahead.  I was on the road working long hours and when I wasn't working, I was with Pat and the kids.  Add to that the fact that we moved our residence on average every four years which added to my list of excuses for losing contact.  It seemed to get worse right after Gramma Rachael (My Mom) passed away.  I always had an excuse.  I didn't even call them on Holidays.  

My lack of contact was in spite of the efforts of my Brother and Sisters.  During Pat's terrible ordeal, out of the Blue, I recieved a call from my Brother Tom.  Before that, we hadn't spoken in almost 12 years.  He really made my day and even more so, he made Pat's day.   When she spoke to him on the phone that day, she lit up like a Christmas Tree.  She was very Happy - mostly for me.  Since then, he and I have maintained consistent contact.   My Sisters Sue and Debbie, at great expense traveled all the way to Florida to attend My Pat's funeral.  I was caught off guard but was very touched by their wonderful gesture.  I paid them back by again losing contact with them.  Debbie and I had an argument about something and she and I have barely spoke since.  I offended Sue by something that I had carelessly written about on this blog and she hasn't spoken to me since.  My sister Linda and I are the exception.  We have maintained contact through thick and thin, but mostly due to her efforts as opposed to mine.  My greatest sin has to do with My Big Sister Joyce.  She passed away in 1976.  In the time since I have spoken to her Son Dave maybe five times and not once since my Mom passed away.  Her daughter, my niece Marianne I cannot remember speaking to since my Sister's funeral.  Contact with my other nieces and nephews aren't much better.  

I have faced up to my shame and made a decision to make amends.  I spoke to Dave Foster a few weeks past and have a date this Saturday to visit his place in Central New York and to meet his wife Chris.  They are very nice people and I am looking forward to it.  Last week I spoke to Marianne via Facebook.  I had to wait to hear from her because she was traveling in Casablanca.  Wow.  When she got back, she responded to my facebook post and we are going to try to hook up at the end of September.  She has two daughters, Madelyn and Abigail that I had never seen or spoken to.  She posted pictures of them both on Facebook.  Pretty like their Mom.  A few weeks back I met with both of Linda's sons.  I last saw them at their Dad's funeral, but before that, contact was touch and go at best.  They both made me feel very welcome.  Tom's son Steven I met when we traveled to Newport News for Jack Reed's funeral.  Before and since, contact has been terrible.  I plan to fix that in the next few weeks as well.  He is a very nice young man with kids of his own.  

I have made arrangements to meet with Jay Roberts in Charlotte on my way back to Florida at the end of September.  I made this arrangement through email with Jay.  I am hoping that he will be able to invite his Mom and his Sister to join us.  I have yet to make contact with my sister Sue.  I did receive an email response from her son Kevin who lives in Spain.  I haven't seen him since I cannot remember when.  He is married and has a daughter.  His note was very nice and he sounds very happy.   I plan to continue to communicate with him in this fashion i.e. via email until the time comes for a one on one.  His sister Joanna is sick right now and I think that is why Sue hasn't been available.  I am not sure of the details, but I am told that it is serious, so I will have to wait until the time is right.  Joanna is married and has four children.  Her and her husband Jaime still live in Auburn.  

Some of my family will accept my apologies, while some others may not and that I can understand.  However, I am still going to try.  I am making this confession because maybe my friends and other family members can learn from my mistakes.  I know many of my family will forgive my lack of care, but frankly I will never forgive myself and promise to never let it happen again.  

Love to All, MYD.   D.